you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
