You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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