and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
