I hope mine doesn't look like that
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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