some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
