This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
