i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
