Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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