either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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