She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
