no. you can't hotbox the world.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
