Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If I die, sorry about rent.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
