oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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