ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
