What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
