p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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