small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
