Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm jealous of your bromance
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
