Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so let's talk penis.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
