he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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