I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
