I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
