don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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