very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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