last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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