some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
