I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
if only i could text you this smell
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Randomize
