So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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