A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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