Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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