I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
