my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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