Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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