i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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