Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
