Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
