dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
how does that bad decision feel?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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