i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
