Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
