stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
