Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
