I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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