Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
