He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
