her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
