Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
