There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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