I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize
