I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
