it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize