whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
